~ WelcOMe 2 My deCEMber ~

my December

2011-12-03T21:29:00.000-08:00

It all started out that evening. It was one of those days like this— holidays and birthdays right around the corner where every kid gets excited just by hearing bells jingling through that bashful winter wind with the exhilarating thoughts of gifts possibly matching one from the never-ending wishlist.

It felt chilly even on a brightly lit sunny day getting excited about putting on his best manner for the upcoming dinner reserved at seven simply because it was not just any dinner. It was the ultimate once in a lifetime sort of dinner for a child at that time!

How much does a small town boy know about exquisite dinners? Definitely not so much about foie gras, caviars, or truffles! Nor about wealthy choices of covetingly desirable a la carte and manly hors d’oeuvres.

It was a single simple turkey dinner for the first time in this one and only established hotel in town back in the days.

I still remember that warmth and that insatiable texture of creamy mushroom soup having been carefully scooped out of the soup bowl not to make a single sound nor drop on the table cloth.

What surrounded the dining table were other handful of tables filled with what seemed at the time to be considered as rare “foreigners” in my eyes where I now am abundantly in the midst of.

So in short, the dinner was good and brief. But only had I realized—it all started out that very evening. What a long way I have come and how that humble holiday dinner gave me this larger-than-life sort of feeling over the course of close to twenty years!

This is a wary reminder of how much I have grown and how much I have come to know. And yet today's knowledge and may be shy tinge of wisdom are mere infants of countless tomorrows.

One other simple fact I couldn't help but notice is that no matter how embarassingly unsubstantial the past events are in the future, what I feel today is haphazardly true for today. And that is what matters in the end.

Salud to life and happy holidays!

Sleepless Heart

2011-09-25T04:33:00.000-07:00

As I walk down this street over and over again after so many of the third times, I feel youthful again.

An urban toppings sprinkled on this rich, creamy and aspiringly old-school American town excites me just enough with its sensational architecture and its modern twists in the surroundings wherever I set my feet upon-- whenever I take a split-second glance at the personas and characters of beings strolling down that same street over and over again after so many of the third times.

It really reminds me of great things in the past and the great past at this instant being overlooked and judged from the future tomorrow.

It simply makes me youthful again; and it really does.

I take a deep city breath in this coldest 70-degree humid sauna-like evening breeze coming from the not-too-far Atlantic; I appreciate god for what he has done or in some cases for what he hasn't.

I just want to be like everyone and no one else at the same time of which, I most certainly agree, comes from my avant-garde (if I may) state of mind.

I want to be just like him in my casual plaid shirt and my favorite carrot jeans with a tinge of 5 almost 6 o'clock shadow and a pair of matching shoes I once bought leaning against the wall of that music school thinking of those understated and unborn talents.

I want to be just like her in her unfinished trails of mascara lines revealing the inner peace and beauty of not knowing what is going to happen while gracefully extending her slender neck before this all-mighty life chopping board.

I want to be just like it-- so minutely miniscule yet so fundamental to our everyday personas and characters of beings rushing up and down that same old street over and over again after so many of the third times.

And it feels so much larger than life, so out of this world, and yet so... insignificant?

I am at loss of words if only I knew hundred more words. I am so sucked into this serene enchantment, so tied down and so much so that I am somewhat afraid I might break loose and be able to roam out of here freely.

............ inspire me as I inspire my savage "civilized" heart.

............ pull me out of this kaleidoscopically symmetrical mess.

Sleepless nights, great cities, empty hearts...

To Sir, with Love (Reevaluation after a Decade)

2011-06-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

A decade ago, on a fine spring morning in my sunny little hometown known as “the big mountain”, I was first introduced to that garage as my new classroom. As I recall the very sight of that little garage, every sweet memory of it comes pouring down as a sequence in a colorful motion picture flickering through the back of my brain.

Meeting my teacher,whom all of us addressed as “sir”, for the first time naturally gave me an excitement and joy before plunging into the world of the unknown. I was a fifteen year old clean slate back then. That same day marked a significant turning point from the seemingly endless years of sufferings, as much oppressed and freedom-deprived as one could ever imagine to be, being a high school student to a more self-reliant man of character who can think for himself.

Most importantly, “sir” was the one. The one who broadened my view of the inextricably haywire world, the one who gave me a kind of distinctiveness in the crowd, the one who taught me to be feisty but respectful and confident but humble. He is the one—the one who somehow managed to make me fall in love with the language that I cherish the most.

Yet the respected and highly spoken of sir’s classroom was far from being grand and glamorous. It was a mere run-down garage filled with what seems to be a century old dining table together with an old table clock on top of it and wobbly benches on the sides large enough to barely accommodate five students on each side.

Despite the physical condition, what I received from sir’s run-down garage was the utter truth, the unspoken honesty, the castle of knowledge, the invaluable and immeasurable personal asset for life.

To this day, every time I come across shabby old garages or well-worn dining tables, I smile. I smile wholeheartedly as I remember the tiny classroom from the other corner of the world— I smile as I remember the tiny classroom that I once was in and the tiny classroom that radiates rays of hopes and dreams—situating on top of that big beloved mountain that I once passionately climbed...

Living that Moment Giving my Soul

2011-03-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

I've read somewhere about life that more than half of it is comprised of waiting- for something to happen or someone to come and hold your hands. Well then I would add in the unknown context of whether if that long-waited something is going to happen for real or if that someone would really show up in your life and hold your hands. Now that might take up your whole life to get it figured out. Either way hope sets in as disappointments start to disappear.

This instant life is more like colored dots and pixels trying to make sense out of things. The more you try to look into your life, the fainter it gets. It is always best to keep it at a certain distance and from the angle the right light hits, you'll be able to get the whole picture of it. Like nobody has the same perspective about rainbows, you have so many different labels people have given you in life. Some you love and some... you would love to be.

Life is also about who you want to be in so many ways- and just be with more importantly as days go by. It presents choices yet restrains options to choose from. It is fairly bias and unjustly fair at the same time. Life is inextricably haywire yet a little complications that you always have to be thankful for.

Well what is it really? Uncertainties? Survival of the fittest? One thing I am certain of at this moment is I always wondered where I will be when I am older. I happen to know the answer now without divine intervention.

"I am still here." "And that's a very good thing!"

Put on your shoes; and I will wear that shirt. Let's live the moment.

Late Night Figure Of Speech

2011-03-15T23:45:00.000-07:00

It is 2:54 am and I still can't sleep. I spend too much time in wasting it away. In fact it was a close-call I almost did tonight but in the end I didn't. I am grateful to myself for this and I really am. After 314 months, I am finally getting dismantled into billions and billions of tiny molecules and reassembled back into me. It definitely is not awful as it sounds because I am in this subtle position where I have no single drop of energy left to propel this sweetness of life and I am telling you the truth, it is not at all painful having been crushed into pieces... to be better.

The moment has finally arrived and even way before it has, I already received an affirmation in me just like the good herald's lullaby transporting me into this dreamy reverie. So serene and calm. At that very moment, it is like nothing could really stop me from facing life head-on. Smiles blooming everywhere- laughters churning in with warm breeze. Everyday is the first day of spring, snow fall, summer and autumn. Once again at that very moment, successes and failures do not matter in one's accepting heart. Condescension withers and falls from this barren emptiness.

The clock is ticking away still as I move on- as the world moves on. I have come back to my senses. The first thing I see is "hope". Please give me another chance and let me try to love us even more.

Waving L.A a Belated Goodbye

2011-02-03T22:17:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my December! Of all those 26 year ends I have had, what a phenomenal December it was for the previous one... As much as I loved it, I have to say it gave me the hectic webs of endless to-do-list aside from the so-called Christmas shopping stress to say the least. By now I am convinced I have learnt my own pattern of anxiety. Relocation is the cause of it. And it works every time.

No matter how many times I say to myself I am tired of Los Angeles... Part of me is missing it. As this favorite saying of mine goes: parting on the other hand is always sweet sorrow. Emotions initiate from the artistic heart of mine if I may. And I end up missing it anyway. But I have to admit I miss the idea of what L.A could have been with its hidden historical architecture plus I miss that alligator sausage with chilled German beer I savored once at the corner of the industrial nightmare of the city.

I was just counting the total relocations I have made in my life and this is the sixth. With each and every move and new excitement, I discover more and more of myself and at the same time a part of me has simply shed away! I still could recall every single detail about my move and the backdrops engraved at the back of my brain ranging from the airports, tears and forceful smiles to pine trees and snow slush or humid heat. Yet! The people I miss are somewhat stagnated. Each and every time I think of one of them, it is as if I am reliving in this huge flashbulb memory so vivid and precise.

The idea of those sceneries and people do not change yet, I do change somehow. You might think that I have become cold. But let me assure you I may be cold but not for the reason you think I am. But just that separation was my elementary pain enhancer throughout my body even before I could recall myself as a tiny toddler. So I may become cold just because I do not want to lose you and feel the pain of loss... I love you!

Mother Courage

2010-11-18T20:06:00.000-08:00

Endless sparkles of heartfelt thoughts and concern....

Waves of lucrative, utmost wisdom....

Eternally practical and sensible

A glimmer of warmth and joyous hope in her eyes for us

(all of us)

Of which can be seen solely through her silenced voice.

Her lullabies teach nothing less significant than comfort

of not only being near but being left alone...

Those could be heard even when you are on your own.

She may have left you just because she cherishes you...

But hey, have you noticed?

You always seem to find your way back after you thought you lose track!

That's simply her.

Had there been any existence of a parallel universe ...

She might have been the first!

What else could we possibly ask from her?

May a score of silence be heard once and for all.

Distortion

2010-07-04T15:56:00.000-07:00

I am somewhat in this beginning phase of an end. Is this the kind of phase they call as "climatic phase" in cinematology? No one is supposed to know if it is a good or bad ending. Everything just pours down on everyone like December rain, so unexpected and uncalled for. I could have elaborated my explanations better had I known more than a hundred vocabulary.

One more thing, I have been treating this blog like a huge black hole in the universe where I can throw everything at and never have to see them again. This is my safe haven. My weak spot.

Life as a child, there are countless stories that anyone could tell and pass on to one another. Trust me they were all funny and childlike. Maybe things were hilarious in such ways when you did not have to care about what others think of you. To me, I still feel like I am that child. Let me be myself as I have always been.

I just wonder what it is like on the other side. I am sure there will be sequence of unopened doors abandoned or unexplored. Dried leaves scattered everywhere with black cloud of ravens up in the crimson sky. That could be paradise.

I am hungry. I am thirsty. I need the basic needs. I want what I want. Will I ever break this chain of spell? Only with the courage I am given.

Meet-Cute

2010-04-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

Nothing could interest more to him than a grand display of the unplayed piano in front of the class when the teacher looked almost like Albert Einstein reciting Shakespeare's love poems. He could not concentrate on the lessons being taught and all he could hear was this absurdity close to "God bless America" being sung in Arabic.

He glanced around the entire class just to bounce out of this current classic boredom. There and then, from the corner of his eyes, he saw someone. Everything else disappeared out of his vision.

That might have almost been when his meet-cute shyly started quietly, and secretly.

He was early that day to class and found himself alone without anyone around but that piano. His childhood mischievous behavior overshadowed his reluctance to get up to the stage towards the center. He was just than a mere lost little boy in this brand new town but that instant, he almost felt like he was about to bow down before hundreds of audiences before he commenced his play.

It was clearly not Debussy's Claire De Lune. The boy's Starlit Waltz shakily echoed up the entire theater. He got carried away and could not care less if the principle came in and got him expelled from class for manipulating class property without any permission. But guess who made an entrance into the hall?

Absolutely!

It was her, peeking through the half opened door not knowing what to expect and what was going on. All she saw was a nervous-looking boy up on the stage with no one else around but the piano. She blushed away and quickly turned back to the hallway thinking that it was the wrong class. But wait, it was not. It might have been the same boy whom she had been seeing from the corner of her eyes. Except from that this time, her eyes met those of his for a second, for the first time.

Assumption: The girl may have went to the library instead just to kill time and embarrassment at first but somehow got carried away with her much interested photography books, she realized a little too late on how late she was for class. When she peeked through the class for the second time, it was filled with students and the teacher. The only seat left available for her without having to catwalk pass the entire class would be that of ... that, for the last couple of days, she had been peeking through from the corner of her eyes so much. "Hmm, I wonder whom she might be sitting next to!"

A Letter For sir~

2010-03-26T03:46:00.000-07:00

Dear sir,

I'm feeling terribly wrong that I'm writing to you only now after a long period of silence. Having said that, I've never felt too far away from you ever and my friends back home at all since I do occasionally receive news about your well-being from my family and friends who have visited you.

I was literally on my life roller coaster ever since I decided to take chance and leave for the States in December, 2008. Last year was a bumpy ride for me. But along the way things have gotten better until I could not ask for more and right now I'm working in this small boutique hotel situated right in downtown Los Angeles (40 minutes drive from my sister) as a Front Desk Agent and this will, I'm sure, continue for at least a year until I am granted as a permanent resident. With the status I'd be able to get into one of the universities with the local fees and some financial aids.

Ever since I got here in the States, I've met with some of your ex-students. They all are doing fine and you are always in our conversation everytime we hang out.

Sometimes sir, I do wish to be back all over again in your classroom. I am pretty sure I will not stop talking not that I had been the quiet one all along back in class those days as well. =) But the idea of it just gives me a whole new perspective on how I shouldn't have attempted to avoid discussions or essay days =). You have somehow managed to give all of us a kind of distinctiveness in the crowd in terms of the language that you make us fall in love with. I'll always be grateful to you for that.

I will write to you very soon again and please do take care sir.

With regards.

Catching the Light

2010-03-08T13:44:00.000-08:00

When I was a little boy, mom and dad made me go to all those wedding receptions dressing me up in my best little outfit possible. I always loved to see the brides and grooms being in the center of attention. People would always ask me when I will get married and I never failed to answer them back, in the most serious note "honestly and proudly", that I would be a single guy just like my dad. I did not understand why people laughed at my statement. I was one proud kid to be just like his own dad who he thought was single. Didn't we all think what we believed was true and weren't we all chasing our own lights?

I am not that naive little kid anymore after two decades had passed and yet it still makes me wonder why I am still catching my own light! May be I am still scared of the dark. It was the literal darkness during my childhood days that I was scared of but the context of light and darkness expands as years pass by. I never did, do not still and will never be able to understand what is right, and wrong where the light that I try to chase would be something others are trying to get away from.

I am never able to tell a star's history yet I still chase the twinkling brightness from above which had traveled down its journey of millions of years just to shine on me this particular night regardless of its own existence to this day as I speak.

What's-for-dinner??

2010-01-10T16:45:00.000-08:00

Today I just made a record to myself watching Julie / Julia, an astounding movie of how cooking greatly influences lives, for the sixth time in a row ever since I downloaded in less than barely a week.

Have you ever experienced something extraordinary like chills and shivers down your back by watching a movie? The feeling is never new to me since I've had it with No reservations or even with Ratatouille in the past.

Julie / Julia just did that to me this time. The most bitter sweet part was I get so emotional which is very unlikely over a movie. But how can I resist when it is so touching and it just flashed back the whole chunk of sweetest memories I've ever had cooking at school and home with friends and family just like a set of colorful, enchanting motion picture flickering on the back of my brain in sequence.

Never in a million years could I ever imagine all these eatings and cookings can bring people together like I encountered back home in Burma as well as in Malaysia.

And how humble we could get before a satisfying hearty meal simply made out of love from your grandmas trying to bring the best from their tiny little smoke scented and charcoal stained kitchens... what else on earth can possibly beat that?

For instance like this wonderful cake and pizza bun that I made for my pastry exam back in school. The pressure was on as it was an exam yet I came to realize it turned out great with just a pinch of passion well mixed with two cups of enthusiasm...

And this is what I would say about when people are doing something they cherish, it just shows.

Even this Kimbap making time back home with little experience of whatsoever on how to get it done at first had brought me back the joyful memories of just having to be together and who cares if the food we made tasted weird. =)

This really reminds me of how real culinary admiration people possess on whoever cooks good and my favorite line from Ratatouille would be "great cooks can come from anywhere" even if anyone can not cook well...

And wait chefs can be goofballs too... You can imagine we still had time to play around with our phone cameras while waiting for our bread to be baked to crust, creams to be whipped until it looks like a soft moist cloud freshly picked from the sky or souffles to be risen and not to be collapsed again...

Afterall, all we bring to the table towards the end of the day are not just great food to be savored. There are still winning smiles on each and every face.

When all is said and done, food still can never be too good, in a sense, not to be shared even electronically over the Internet.

To all my friends and family out there whom I had fun cooking, baking, broiling, sauteeing, and most importantly eating together with... may we have some fun cooking times together again in the near future...

For now though...... what's for dinner?

Winter 2008 Vs. Winter 2009

2010-01-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

Winter kicks in prominently these past few days. I am dying to capture these chilled moments just like last year when I was up in Lake Tahoe where I had my first white lovely Xmas. The thing is, Los Angeles is brighter than ever and we are having these beautiful sunny days almost everyday which would not give a single trace of coldness even if I try to deliver some pictures taken in one of these shivering mornings. But that is not even my point right now. I just can't find a nice good spot to portray my winter wonderland 2009 which could outshine the fabulous past year. Right there, a professional photographer would laugh at me saying "Dude, you don't need a nice spot to get good shots in fact they are everywhere!" Well I am trying.

Along came with this shivering winter early mornings was the warmth and the satisfying moments when you manage to capture something where there is someone out there who would actually care about you. The city notorious for high-end glamazons and excessively ripped gentlemen in their best outfits from Giogio Armani to the designer boutiques custom-made clothings, still has something genuine to offer. Don't get me wrong about those in their luxurious living style, all I'm saying is to be real once and for all then they will be good and charming human beings.

My bottomline here is I finally found friends whom I can hang out, crack jokes, cook dinners or just chill with and may be to be mean to each other with depending on our moods really. Even the little ones with wagging tails are counted in my list. What could be more rewarding for me to receive such heavenly gifts and more importantly this could be my best winter portrayal especially when I am so far from you, all my loved ones. Happy Thanks Giving!

In Search Of F-r-i-e-n-d-s...

2009-11-13T22:26:00.000-08:00

The City of Angels a.k.a Los Angeles: and yet I do not know where to begin. Just like any other major cities with huge influx of human population, I would say Los Angeles embraces all its upbeat traits of what a city should have been and likewise its own downturns.

I relocated here in this world renowned city a month ago. So much of things to be caught up on and yet too little time since I have a full-time job in this small, hip boutique hotel in the heart of downtown. I am even going to miss my friend's birthday bash in San Diego on Saturday evening just for that excuse.

Are people here superficial? Or is it just me who can't keep it up? I do not know which is what. I have been here for a good old month well may be a few days more yet hardly do I find anyone who is yet to be called dear friends.

Like any other hotel jobs, I am at my most busy moments at times when more people take breaks from work and more holidays have been created. When it is a major relaxing time for them, it is somewhat a headache at work for me to provide the worthy service on whatever they have paid for.

So there and then I was just wondering, since I have been busy dealing with guests who come with their friends and along come with their second degree friends to their acquaintances till the list goes on and on; why on earth could I ever not get any single friend here?

If I were to give up easily on certain things in life, I wouldn't even be here in the first place for one thing. So it would only makes sense if I continue on the hopes of trying to expand my social cycle and getting to know more people seriously from all walks of life. And you know what? I'll tell you next time if it really works and I might be able to write something more about some new friends the next time. May optimism gives you way ahead in life. Cheers.

When the Liu Xing (Shooting Star) Rains

2009-02-17T05:38:00.000-08:00

You might want to know what happened after my last blog. All I could say is I lived life in Malaysia to the fullest just as I have promised to myself so much so that I was the last passenger having to be boarded in JAL that night. Not to mention the tormenting moment that I had to run to my gate once I got out from the main terminal train and I had to walk pass all those people in-charge waiting for that last passenger just for me and only myself with the kind of look people normally give when somebody had done something annoyingly wrong... But well I sure lived to its fullest that way!!!

My new life started again right before I turned 24 here in South Lake Tahoe which resides in the stateline between California and Nevada so it has the beauty of both states. It is desert-like but still it captures serene beauty of California with endless lines of pine trees and snowy mountains all year round. It is a small tourist town surrounded by the snow-capped mountains on one side and the deep blue lake on the other. One thing I was really hoping to see there on my first night of arrival was "snow". Well it was my luck, it did not snow that day nor had it been snowing for like over a week prior to my arrival. So there was no trace of snow at all in the town at that time that could visibly be seen except from those of the mountain top. But of course it was very chilling even way back in San Francisco where I first touched down before I came up to this amazingly cute winter wonderland of over 6000 Ft elevation.

Well even though I did not see snow on my first night right on American soil, there was still something that I saw up in the night time sky. I was just familiarizing the surroundings from my motel that I rented for the season by taking a sneezingly cold walk among the pine-tree-filled drive intersected with the Highway 50 which is famous for its restaurants, ski rentals and souvenir shops just for the tourists on vacation and work visas alike. There and then, I saw a shimmering shooting star soaring down right in the middle of the night sky in a split second. Ever since I was in my teenage years... I have always been passionate about making wishes upon shooting stars. So seeing this star once again after three years on my first night in the new nation made me just wish. That was one simple wish which must have really meant something for me, for my future and even for my great past that I possessed. That single split second projected me on what I would be doing for at least the next five years down the road and of what I would become right in this land of opportunities as well as the brave. I promise myself I would start small and that I would keep on working things out which would have come across my path and improving in a gradual pace so as to reach to the cornerstones after another. So that was my wish that encompassed over my thoughts single-handedly during the night....... And that was just when the "Liu Xing" rained...

Last Minute Wonders

2008-12-09T10:06:00.000-08:00

August 8 was about my nostalgic past memories and what I was not aware that time was that I never thought this December 10 early in the morning around 2.00 am would be my last night physically living in everything that I have come to the city of Twins for and that everything and everyone that I believed in...

I still could remember the first day's touch down and a mixture of excitement and nervousness over what was going to come to me next in August 11, 2006 to the strange city with no one else near me or around ... and one more thing was... there were endless first times over the past two years... for instance I could even remember clearly about my first day orientation, my first blue shirt that I bought or my first English test... it would be too much for you if I said I even got noticed of the first bee flying across the tree at our school's sidegate or even the full moon shining above the sky so much so that I had to deliberately go down from my condo hostel room to the downstairs walkway leading to the swimming pool so that I could see the clearer picture of the bright lantern in the night sky... But those were what I really got noticed as one of the many first time encounterments in my new place...

Along came with my first best friend, first argument, disappointment, fight, misunderstanding and yet again an understanding in the end... I realized I was living a life. Even now I do not regret for all the happenings... Before I even could allow myself to sink into the fact that my second best friend came into picture as part of my life together with alot of second times, third times and seemingly endless repetition of things done, food taken, feelings shared and places gone... now I really had no idea of what the last thing that I should do will be before I leave the place... even when the clock struck 12.00 just 2 hours ago, it still has not yet sunk in my mind that it is the end of everything of what I have come here for... but suddenly and only at this very moment that I am breathlessly in pain to leave yet again my life here...

The hardest thing now is for me to say goodbye and turn my back on those of whom I cherish with my life... I have said enough goodbyes in my life and yet I am still reluctant to do so all over again... I will always be smiling when I am left behind or leave.... either way I will be smiling for the betterment of both parties involved... what I will be keeping in my heart would be "crying out loud" for the uncertainties of reunions in the future.

Life goes on and I can never forget my old and new people alike ornating my life... so this love towards family and friends stays on... and I always force myself to believe in the saying "parting is sweet sorrow" as it has its fair share of power over lessening the pain of being parted from one another which I find it to be the most difficult obstacle that one can ever achieve in life. So after all this fast moving shock of reality in the dark of the night, I just say to myself for the last thing that I ever am going to do until the last bit of minutes and seconds that I am here....................... "I will live it to its fullest." 10/12/08 (2.52am)

A Day's Final Thought....

2008-08-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hey what do I have to say about today??? Mmm, the only thing I know is this very day is a special day to me or to be more precise, to a group of friends... or may be to people across my country even?

08/08/08:

I was about to head home from gym after work then I took the usual route through the mall which leads home after passing a couple of car parks and 24 hours "mamak" (Indian Muslim) stalls ... then as soon as I went out from the mall, right inside the parapat of the mall, the Republic was attracting groups of people, because in a usual case, it could have just been some football tournament shows having displayed on their 6 sided plasmas hung on top of their bar counter together with a big projector screen next to it... and not to forget with obviously fewer customers scarcely sitting here and there for dinner or sips of beers.

So yeah, anyway, today was different, I saw groups people flocking around then my curiosity level went straight up... so I had nothing to lose, tomorrow is my day off from work and now the night is still young... so I stood and had a look at what they were eagerly watching in awe...

Oh wow, it is "Beijing Olympic" live on TV ... hmmmm I am not sure whether I should support China like right now after all the things that they have done to us... but anyway, it was really impressive and it gave me shivers down my back while watching it...

Then right at the point where the center stadium splitted into half then the centerstage which resembled our own earth appeared with green continents displaying on it... something struck me very hard and waves of emotion swept through me right across... I was panicked trying to hide my sudden emotion which had brought me to near tears... something just went on in my mind... that particular something...

Could it be the touching Olympic theme song sung by the singers on stage? No... well may be it had helped me transported to the past with its melodius yet melancholy tunes and vocals...

I was just reminded some "promises" made between me and my friends 4 years ago... that wherever we might be in the future, whatever lots which had been fallen onto our lives in different corners of the world that we live, we would meet each other again in Beijing 2008....

well THAT was a promise... but then I found myself watching it live all alone surrounded by the unfamiliar faces around me on the very opening day of 2008 Olympics by chance from almost about to be heading back home from work right in Malaysia.. the rest of my friends who had made that same promise also must have been watching this in England, Singapore and Burma through their everyday's struggle just like myself... what a life!

But I was consoled because later on when I was writing this blog, then I met one of those friends of mine online and the first thing I asked was this: "Hey you know what I'm thinking rite now?"

The truth was he knew what I just meant.

Then I was told that he was thinking and feeling exactly the same thing while watching the opening ceremony and he sounded sad too... so at least we all might be feeling the same emotion at the same time right at the moment which made me feel better but nostalgic...as friends who had not forgotten our past promise though it was impossible for us not to break it...

Well another final thought came into my mind... that today is also the mark of our 20th Anniversary of the mind-boggling, teeth-gritting and mainly sad event of my own country whereby exactly 20 years back today, 08/08/88 (THE FOUR EIGHTS) when I was 4 years old, a lot of our country's students (future leaders) and civilians were massacred by the military maddogs of whom China is currently supporting whole-heartedly by all means of weaponries which have bled thousands and thousands of innocent lives... And now China has just finished launching the grandest of all opening ceremonies of Olympic which represents peace on earth... on this "THE THREE EIGHTS"... when the rest of us from my roots are half mourning for the loss of lives and love from the past 20 years... ~~..~~..~~ that was my final thought of the day before a new day begins...

My deepest condolence and a tribute to the 20th Anniversary of our country's one of the most sorrowful events...

Defining The Very Word "Friend"

2008-07-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Translated by Herald:

All of us have come across the category of people in the world which god has given a grand name to it called "friend" from places that we least expected we would be encountering as such. As a result, we gain some kind of vice versa acknowledgement as being friends "accidently" in our hearts... Not only that, we even have internet and phone friends that we have never seen each other in real life.. but then on the other hand, we embrace those dear ones that we have come across and become inseparable along with our daily battles in life... we then again even become friends when we mistakenly call someone on the road thinking that it would be one of our friends and true enough after that incident he/she really becomes our friend and we both are really glad about it?

We also can't forget those long lost friends from our primary school or junior high of whom we played together with, then eventually everybody went somewhere in the end where we thought grass was greener and lost contacts with each other just like that?

Well all in all, age does not exist between friends if that is one thing that I can say for sure... they can be both older or younger... but I am learning new things from the older ones then once again searching for the long lost innocence in me from the younger ones... Likewise wealth and poverty are at stake when it comes to friends and friendship can just be taken as an ever changing winters, summers and falls... some are just like the radiant hot suns but some represents the rain that reduces heat in you and lastly some are just like misty mornings during winter and with that I have lived my life cherishing all those astounding moments and feelings slowly gathering from those different seasons.... Then everybody hardly remembers what it felt like the last summer or winter and same goes with our friends, we hardly remember when we ever started bonding as friends but then it has never been a failure when it comes to opening up all our emotional and joyful moments to our friends. That is the beauty in us whenever we see something good that we always feel like "ohh, if he/she was here with me seeing this right now, it could have been a superb sharing moment!!!"

I have just been wondering while sitting in front of my computer writing this blog... if my friends happen to see this blog of mine from the other side of their computers... will they be feeling exactly what I am feeling right now? Or will they just be wondering what I am just up to writing this?

I hardly ever express my love to all my friends, new and old out there but at least I am grateful that I ever can show my warm and tender loving care from my cold, flat computer screen transmitting through theirs... Wish you all the best of luck in your everyday lives and love you buddies... and ohh I never have forgotten to thank you for the insignificant movement of yours with a major significance of what it meant to me at a later stage... thank you so much once again for all those small little things that have impacted so well and have made up my perfectly wonderful days...

A Sneak Peek To My Sweet Home

2008-07-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

I was never good in writing "My home" essays back in high school and there were countless times that I memorized two, three paragraphs of other people's "My home" then vomitted them all out on my exam paper... well I just did not have any critical or rational thinking of whatsoever and I did not know how to feel things over and work it out based on the feeling you have inside back then.

Well before anything I want to make you read one of those "standard phrases" that I used to swallow by heart just to get the passing marks over essays.... Have fun but don't be laughing too much...

"MY HOME: My home is located at "house/ street numbers bla bla bla" and it is a one story brick house with a big garden in front. It has a green roof on top and it is surrounded by green trees.... There are three bedrooms inside my house with toilet attached, a living room, a dinning room and a kitchen.

Well now you know what it was all like. But well I just take it as a let-bygone-be-bygone thing and those days are over for me.

Now imagine you are my special guest and I am now driving you to our house. So let's start from the city center main road, we are now there... so yeah buddy, just familiarize with the surrounding for a while.

"That's right the square building which enwrapped the whole block beside the clock tower is our central market." "Don't worry I am going to take you to that clock tower street later in the evening... but don't get all excited, there are too much of things to eat there in a day.."

"Whoops, did you just almost have a heart attack over the scooter rider who just drifted beside us??? Well get used to it buddy besides I won't speed up at the moment anyway don't worry so you see?? On the right side, this is our famous night market which I doubt you would want to go inside. Hey but we have to come to this "tofu noodle" shop early tomorrow morning. You wouldn't want to miss the good things out by getting up late, would you? Now there you go, you can open the window now and enjoy the fresh breeze, we have passed the market."

"Oh hey, there he is... you know what this uniformed guy with the "white helmet" and me used to play "hide and seek: catch me if you can" game whenever I did not wear a helmet while riding my scooter you know? That was really cool and exciting... I can't believe it, he's still working here man... "

"Ahhh yeah you're right, it's my high school and it used to be one of the best in town and I had a lot of great memories from there.. it was my first cornerstone for my life, you can say that. Ohh hahahaha don't worry here we don't have such markets anymore that we have just passed in this area... this is solely a residential area... and don't forget we're slowly going up the winding road" "Hey hold up, I have to pass this public transport "line car"... nah don't worry, those people are happy on the roof and they are used to it, they won't easily fall off from there, just imagine you being sandwiched inside the small pick up truck... so if I were using that transport, I might as well sit on top of the roof just like those guys and may be you should try it sometime later... really i mean it... it is totally awesome."

"Ohh you like this Guang Ying Temple? For me honestly, I'm more interested in the food they offer during festive seasons more (Laugh Out Loud)... hey don't forget, now you look on your left...... " "Uh-huh, that's what I'm talking about.... see that's what I would call the whole panoramic view of the city center that we've just passed.. you see how small that central market has become? Ohh gosh, you gotta see this my friend.... these lines of "sein ban" trees... oh they have bloomed so well this year.... That's right, I don't know which smart people from the past planted these lines of trees... yeah I like that color coordination as well this whole tree is pink in color like cherries then this is violet.... this is the sign that we're getting close to our home... we're almost there buddy.... okay go ahead you just keep counting pink after violet then violet after pink nonstop."

"Yeah don't be surprised, at this point of place, there is no housing area on the right side anymore, just a pure moutain and trees." "Yep you're right same goes to my home, we don't have any neighbor's house across the street.... a green calm pond and trees that stretch towards the higher ground of the side of the mountain would be my neighbors I suppose."

"Finally, there that green-roofed stand-alone little cottage amidst the greens?? We've reached our destination buddy.... Later let me introduce you to my favorite doggies who will be all excited to jump up and down and round all over you and oh.... sorry..... they don't fit into cages anymore but they are simply lovely... and they'll love you too..."

"Yeah mom said she has already prepared our lunch, all her specialties.... you can have a sip of my dad's homemade red wine too if you want... then shower quick, rest for a while then we have so much things to do..."

What a Wonderful World

2008-07-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful world... hmmmmm .... lately I have been listening to this Louis Armstrong "Wonderful World" and so many things have been going on in my mind ever since... of how much I have grown within these years and of how many wonderful people have come into my life... oh what a wonderful world!!

Louis Armstrong always thinks to himself how great the world is just by observing small little things happening around.... I ever imagined while he was writing this song, how humble he could have been and how happy... he was like one of those legends who stood up for the African American societies and turn everything into positive energy...

" I see trees are green... red roses too...

I see them bloom... for me and you...

And I think to myself... what a wonderful world "

How simple yet powerful these words are... it ever reminds me of how simple things make great differences and impacts to our lives... if ever all people could only stop for a while and stare at the night time sky, we have missed so much of those wonderful things these days... all we, humans can think for now are natural calamities, wars of cold and civil and food/ resources shortages everywhere, chain reactions of recessions...

But wait a minute... we have forgotten so much of good things happening around us once again if we could only stop and stare for a while... always remember when the setting sun turns crimson for us, there's also a blessed bright day beginning somewhere in the world... ohh what a wonderful world with wonderful people that I have loved...

Tea With A Dictator

2008-06-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

Benedict Rogers
May 31, 2008 9:00 AM

The UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, reminds me of Lady Hester Random in the movie Tea with Mussolini. Lady Hester, widow of a former British ambassador to Italy, played by the famous actress Maggie Smith, lives in 1930s Florence. As the fascists gain ground, she seeks an appointment with the Italian dictator, Benito Mussolini. He promises her his personal protection, and she naively takes him at his word.
The local newspaper features a photograph of Lady Hester having tea with the dictator, a picture she proudly keeps in a frame on her mantelpiece. Events, however, turn out rather differently, though it takes a long time for Lady Hester to realise that Mussolini could not be trusted. Watch the movie to find out what happens.
On May 23, Ban Ki-moon met Burma's ruthless dictator, Senior General Than Shwe. In the comfort of the Hotel Sedona in Rangoon, the UN secretary-general then declared to the world media: 'I am happy to report that we have made progress on all these issues. This morning, I had a good meeting with Senior General Than Shwe. He agreed to allow international aid workers into the affected areas, regardless of nationality. He has taken quite a flexible position ...' It sounds almost as promising as Neville Chamberlain's 'peace in our time'.
Today's world, when it comes to Burma, is full of Neville Chamberlains and Lady Hesters. No sooner had Ban Ki-moon left the country than the regime began its backtrack. Prime minister Thein Sein announced that the regime would 'consider' allowing access to international aid workers, 'if they wish to engage in rehabilitation and reconstruction work'. storm swept their homes away. Others have been forced into camps controlled by the regime. Notices have been put up prohibiting relief distribution. Soldiers have shot dead several cyclone survivors, for no apparent reason.
Declaring the relief phase 'over' before it has even begun is a death sentence for the desperate survivors, thousands of whom are still bereft of basic emergency aid, including food, medical care and shelter. To talk of reconstruction and rehabilitation when people are dying of starvation and treatable disease is a scandal. Unless aid workers are permitted to enter the cyclone areas without restriction, to assess the needs and monitor the distribution of aid, there will be few people left to rehabilitate and little point in reconstruction.
The brutality of the regime has not changed. It shows no concern for human life - yet in its Orwellian eccentricity, it has announced that Cyclone Nargis killed 665,271 ducks, 56,163 cows and 1,614,502 chickens. The junta fails to realise that hundreds of thousands of people have died, and their corpses continue to float in the flood waters alongside the dead ducks and chickens. Rotting corpses spread diseases, causing yet more deaths. Regime officials don't even attempt to conceal their contempt for human life. One official told foreign aid workers: "What you, westerners, don't seem to understand is that people in the delta are used to having no water to drink and nothing to eat."
The regime has no regard for the rule of law either, not even its own. Burma's democracy leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, has spent over 12 years under house arrest. Her current period of house arrest began in 2003, following an assassination attempt against her at Depayin which resulted in the slaughter of more than 100 of her supporters. She is held under the State Protection Act, which imposes a five-year sentence. Her five years has expired, but on May 27 the regime extended her detention for yet another six months. Instead of taking this opportunity, with the world watching, to initiate a meaningful process of national reconciliation, it continues to clamp down. At least 15 of Aung San Suu Kyi's supporters were arrested as they attempted to march to her home.
Burma's military regime is ranked as the most corrupt in the world, alongside Somalia, and it has shown its character in full colours in the past month. Of the aid that has arrived in Burma, only a trickle has reached the people. No more than a fifth of the 2.5 million cyclone survivors have received help. Much of the aid has been seized by the authorities and taken for their own use, or sold on the streets. Even the aid that has reached people has been painstakingly re-packaged and re-labelled for propaganda purposes. In just one example, packages labelled "Aid from the Kingdom of Thailand" were pasted over with labels bearing the junta's stamp. And then, incredulously, the regime has the audacity to demand $11.7 billion in reconstruction aid - almost the entire gross domestic product of the country.
But still the world's diplomats and politicians wait, and talk, and grasp at straws. Even the aid workers are too scared to speak the truth. Some will argue that we should not 'politicise' a humanitarian situation. But it is already politicised, whether we like it or not, by the regime. It is the regime's policies - not simply neglect, but deliberate, calculated obstruction - that are at the root of the crisis. It is the regime that is playing politics with people's lives.
The time has come for action instead of talk. The time has come for the diplomats, politicians and aid workers to cease putting their confidence in the regime's 'noises', however positive, and demand practical results. A deadline should be set for visas to be issued and access to be granted, without restriction, to all international aid workers. That deadline should be hours and days, not weeks, from now. If the deadline is not met, the UN's 'responsibility to protect' should be actioned. The French, British and American navy vessels waiting off Burma's shores should go in, to deliver the aid they are carrying and be prepared to deal with the consequences.
Such intervention - with humanitarian objectives accompanied if necessary by military tools - would be welcomed by everyone in Burma except the top generals and their cohorts. Even many in the Burma Army would not resist. The sentiment is summed up in a letter to President Bush, dated 20 May, signed by several Burmese democracy groups including Buddhist monks and exiled 88 Generation Students. They write: 'Intervention will be seen as divine intervention by the Burmese people, not only to help the cyclone victims but also to finally free the entire nation from the military yoke'. The authors conclude: 'Please do not compare Burma with Iraq, because Buddhist monks, students, Burmese patriots will happily assist you with whatever you need to go inside Burma and help the cyclone victims and entire nation. We are willing to go together with whoever enters Burma first. We will recruit translators, doctors and nurses. Many concerned Burmese citizens are willing to join the intervention. Please do not waste precious time.'
A failure to act not only results in more deaths and suffering in Burma, it sends a signal to tyrants all over the world: that the world may huff and puff, but when it comes to it its words are meaningless. Too many times the international community has shown its impotence in the face of dictators. Burma presents an opportunity to be different.
The French, surprisingly, have been the most robust government on this. Surely, if the French are hinting at intervention, it's a sign that something is up? Critics cannot dredge up Iraq as a reason not to act in Burma. Foreign minister Bernard Kouchner wrote in Le Monde that a failure to act to help the people of Burma 'would be an act of cowardice'. Lady Hester Random and Neville Chamberlain showed that placing trust in dictators is not simply naive, it is costly cowardice. The time has come to bring an end to the deadly delay in helping Burma's people, and replace naivity and cowardice with courage and action - for the sake of Burma, and the world.

Colors that paint my Country

2008-04-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

By Jeff Hodson
Special to the Seattle Times

In Myanmar, a cellphone costs $3,000 and a 10-year-old car more than $100,000.Yet most people toil for a dollar a day or less.Old women beg on betel-nut- stained sidewalks. The poor canvass neighborhoods, collecting trash for 4 cents a household.A pilot for the state-owned airline once told me his salary was $8 a month. He survived by overloading the plane and charging for extra bags.Nobody trusts the banks, there are no ATMs, and the black market thrives.Citizens suffer regular blackouts while the ruling military regime -- formally called the State Peace and Development Council, or SPDC -- sells the country's vast natural-gas reserves to neighbors such as Thailand and China.For years, Myanmar, formerly known as Burma, has had one of the most mismanaged economies in the world. The generals won't listen to technocrats or academics. "SPDC stands for Stupid People Destroying the Country," a Yangon economics professor once told me.It's no wonder that a decision to raise the price of fuel provoked the recent widespread demonstrations, which brought tens of thousands of people into the streets. The country has been a tinderbox for years.Just two months ago, on my most recent visit to Yangon, a middle-aged professional complained of the deteriorating economic situation."We are waiting for a spark," she said.She wondered why there hadn't been any protests after the government's previous decision to raise the price of fuel two years ago, arbitrarily and without explanation, by nine times. That's right. Nine times.
The answer, I think, is partly that the Burmese are incredibly patient people -- humble, calm and gentle. They bow before monks, their parents, their teachers. They are also warm and generous hosts.Their capacity to endure economic hardship and political repression has amazed me since I started working with them as a journalism trainer seven years ago.They are spied upon, their phones are tapped, and their e-mail is tampered with. Many of my friends have been interrogated, tortured, imprisoned for acts as harmless as distributing pamphlets or writing poetry.Once I met a group of writers in Mandalay and each matter-of-factly reeled off their stints in jail as if they were normal parts of a résumé -- eight years, five years, a year and a half. "We have a saying," one of them said. "You're not a real journalist unless you've been to jail."They all laughed at that.But even telling a joke in Myanmar can be a crime. I once visited Par Par Lay, a famous comedian, who was sentenced with his colleagues -- they call themselves "the Mustache Brothers" -- to several years of hard labor. All for poking fun at the regime.Now they are allowed to perform only for foreign tourists, in the ground floor of their home on a muddy street in Mandalay.Despite these difficulties, many Burmese who have had a chance to leave Myanmar have opted instead to remain. They believe that pushing for change from within, one step at a time, is more effective than agitating from the outside.There have been signs of progress, they say.Myanmar now has a dynamic and thriving private media sector. Dozens of weekly newspapers (albeit heavily censored) have sprung up over the past couple of years.Until the recent crackdown, many Burmese enjoyed affordable access to the Internet and knew as much about the war in Iraq as any American. The country's borders are porous, with thousands crossing back and forth to Thailand every day.
Tourism is also on the rise.Myanmar is not as "isolated" as it's sometimes portrayed to be. Nor was the political scene entirely stagnant before the demonstrations.The government had just wrapped up the so-called National Convention, a hand-picked group of delegates assigned to draft the principles for a new constitution. The process took 14 years, was boycotted by the opposition and dismissed as a charade.But there was still a buzz in Yangon: The first step was finally finished, people were saying. There was talk about a referendum, and after that, yes, a possible election.The last election, in 1990, was won overwhelmingly by Aung San Suu Kyi and her National League of Democracy. But the junta annulled the results, saying the country first needed a new constitution.To the chagrin of democracy activists, the new constitution would guarantee the military a quarter of all seats in the legislature.But pragmatists know there will be no transition to democracy unless the military is guaranteed a share of power.The military has held on to the reins for 45 years and is the only institution with experience running the country.It's also easy to forget that Myanmar is home to the world's longest-running civil war, a 60-year conflict with the Karen National Union. Without the military, some say, the country could become another Yugoslavia.Given this background, it's no surprise the junta's crackdown came last week after 10 days of protests. It acted the way it always has, although perhaps not as brutally as it did after the 1988 uprisings, when up to 3,000 were killed.I once asked one of Myanmar's most outspoken writers, Lu Du Daw Amar, why there hadn't been more uprisings against the military."The gun is everywhere," she said, raising her finger liked a cocked pistol."Everybody is afraid of the gun."

Are you in the year 2008 ???

2008-03-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm how could we ever be sure of ourselves that we are actually in the year 2008...?!?!?!?

1. You might be mistakenly typing in the password on your microwave oven.

2. It might have been quite a long time that you hadn't used the real cards to play cards.

3. You are having more than 5 phone numbers to contact 3 of your family members.

4. You might be smsing the person next to you when you need to talk to him.

5. You have lost touch with some of your friends and relatives because they don't use Internet.

6. Once you park your car, you might be calling (on phone) the person inside the house to help carry your items bought.

7. Whichever adverds on TV come together with their web address for us to look into.

8. You will be shocked to know that you actually forgot to bring your phone (that you had never had in your life ten or twenty years ago ) then you might be rushing back home in order for it to be with you asap.

10. Once you wake up in the morning, you will be online before making yourself a hot cup of coffee.

11. At this point, you might actually be smiling at the above sentences.

12. You will read this then you will be nodding in agreement with me that you are smiling now.
13. The worst part is you might be thinking of which friends to send to about all these crap.

14. You are also too busy that you hadn't even noticed there is no number 9 here, it's missing out.

15. Gotcha..... you will be reassuring yourself whether or not the number 9 is really there by tracing back the lines above.

See??? Told you that we are actually in the year 2008..... :P :P :P

Everlasting Remedy

2008-03-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

If I am asked to pick one gift out of the lots from God above , I would, without any hesitance, pick "smile"! It is so far the best weapon to break barriers and as a baseline comment, it really makes your day meaningful and beautiful without taxing any cost of whatsoever.

Talking about cost-effectiveness, since it incurs nothing we can always exchange smiles easily with the people you know or those whom you frequently meet for example your neighbors, or anyone you may see frequently on the way to your work, school and so on.

For me, I even love to smile at my doggies when I was back home and they do smile back at me seriously which I love the most and it is just a thing that should be developed from within.... in the end it makes you feel good and you don't lose a thing... so in that case, smile not only transmits through humans... it can come from anywhere at all... it's the way you perceive things... remember that.

"Twinkle twinkle little star

how I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in the sky"

I am just wondering sometimes that even if you look at the sky on one of the starlit nights from your window, I always feel that I could almost reach out and touch them everytime I look at them , and it's as if they are always smiling back at me... (Song: What a Feeeeeelliiiin!!!!)

I'll give you a quick sneak peek into fun-fill smiling moments during my current daily routine.... I would call them "perfect moments".

First thing first, I would be smiling lightheartedly when I am not grumpy when getting up at all in one of the school mornings to get prepared for class... that usually happens when I have enough sleep the night before.

I would normally greet my housemates, if I meet them in the kitchen while making myself a hot cup of chocolate.

Me: "Oh hey, good morning!"

Housemate: "Morning Herald..."

I would exchange smile with anybody I meet inside the lift to break the awkwardness when you are inside one stupid lift of which you don't know which level it will take you first even though you pressed groundfloor or whichever floor you really want!!! (Sigh... get used to it...)

Along the way I would meet some of the seniors to talk to:

Me: "Hey Eli, how are you today?"

Eli: "I'm good, thanks... What classes are you guys having today?"

Me: "Errmmm... OB with Ms Mary, Housekeeping with Ms Mary.... " (clear throat)

(Exchange a meaningful smile) "What about you?"

Eli: "E-comm"

Me: "Ohh okay! I'm pretty much sure it's not a joke this sem, good luck with that and c ya!"

Me: "Good morning, Ms Merry... you look so sexy today... hehehehe!" (Running away from her)

Ms Merry: "When am I not sexy? I am sexy everyday..." (Giving me this funny and smiling look)

In a minute, I'd be at the classroom door which I would always peek into the classroom first before entering and if I find the lecturer before me, I would be like "Dang, she's early!"

There are always these bunch of smiling faces that would greet me in different kinds of styles....

It can be from "Yozzz... what's up dude?" to a simple "Hey"..... But out of the lot, there are some phenomenal greetings that I always receive every morning...

Fairuz: "Good Morning Herald.."

Me: "Tell me what's so "GOOD" about the morning?"

I'm always mean to that booby guy... but yeah so long we all have fun... then I would give a sarcastic smile after replying that.

**** THUUUDDDDDD****

Me: "Ouch!"

**** Bang ****

Soya: "Ahhh hah hah" (He also gets hurt in return by hitting me first)

Then we would always exchange that mischivous smile at each other. And some days, I remember to poke Ming Ming's cheek then see her feel (positively) so irritated by it.. and will give me back that (funny-revengeful) smile to me... hehehee if I manage to poke her first, I score that day... if she does, she scores...

Then there will be alot more buddies who would put out his tongue to me, who would wink at me, who would act cute to me and oh man, all sorts of greetings that one can ever get greeted with.... I always love to give back the same funny greetings to each and everyone then only I get settled in my chair...

Well yeah like I said, it's just the start of my day, so much so that I have chance to smile and laugh alot thanks to everybody around me and also to me being around them in return... I am always in that great give-and-take situation every school day... I just wonder sometimes... that those things are actually the daily vitamins for me to go forward, or before I go into somewhat a different war zone everyday where you can't be sure of when you will get shot from which point... But in the end... let all these smiling moments overpower your daily battles then everything will be alright. ~Peace Out~ **Lots of Smile**

HOME

2008-02-09T04:47:00.000-08:00

It really reminded me of the golden old days that had passed by before I realized that they actually did fade away.... all along those days of my stay in Chiang Mai, I kept remembering one of the oldest and most cliche idioms of all time saying "Home Is Where The Heart Is".... Well I would say I was home for I had been receiving all those heartfelt loving care all the time from my uncle there. It was just so pure and simple with no pretence at all. Thank you Uncle...

Uncle's cozy little stand-alone cottage

The scenic surroundings also played a major part and helped me recall my little "Home Sweet Home" back in Taunggyi. The minute I glanced the outside world from the corner of my eyes through the windows, the doors or even when I closed my eyes and listen carefully, I could sense the serenity of the environment and fresh cool breeze wavering around the trees grown on mountainside.

Front View From the house

The resemblance was just so prominent that I kept saying I was home.

At nights I would be a couch potato over so many good DVDs just like I would be doing exactly the same thing if I were home and before I knew it, my hands and feet would become numb out of the chilling weather as if it had not been scorching hot when the sun was being all high up and mighty during the daytime. The first morning tap water would also make me fully awake through all shivers down my back the minute I touched the water and would make me feel like I'd never touch it again for the rest of my life. Even those feelings were not at all new to me as I had those things before in the past. I simply embraced the feeling of belonging to somewhere and just being all the way secure. Hmm... I really miss that.

This place really looks like "Ye Htwet Oo Road" to my house

Even the way up to its mountain top, I felt like I could almost see the valley of Nyaung Shwe from far above and if I could further picture things in my mind then Innlay would be there already for sure , the uphill road really resembled our Kalaw and Heho. But instead of the things that I had pictured myself what I saw was the panoramic view of the vastly expanding Chiang Mai with highrises here and there yet still green as I can ever imagine.

Well in this case "Home away from Home" is not just a jargon we use among hoteliers anymore. That little place residing in my heart is just the real home away from home.

Views from Mountain Top Pagoda

Let me think about it!!!

2008-01-19T09:07:00.000-08:00

Well yeah, you might be wondering "What is it this time?" (Like again after a month as if I just woke up from my dreamland where there is no such thing called "Blogging") I actually know how this sounds but seriously up till now I have no idea of what I am going to talk about! Well let me think about it first, the title answers it all.

You know how much I admire those who are really into spending their time concentrating on writing things that people do find them interesting?? Especially this friend of mine whose blogger name or a pen name or whatever she wants it to be called is "chaos", hardly can I imgine that she can be so committed and stay put with her own blog and it has been a huge achievement seriously. And the most important thing is there is this beauty in all those bloggers (I believe) that in the end of the day no matter how hilarious or touching their blogs may be, they have the tendency to make the readers realize something or about someone or at least they get to know more about the bloggers' part of life. This is an interesting and sometimes could be a fun sharing section which saves time in a sense that it reaches out to a whole lot of friends at the same time rather than you yourself being a joker going all the way out there to meet circle of friends somewhere and share something and incurrs low cost as you can imagine and it is just so relaxing to read your closed ones' feelings that have been shared right inside your room without even having to stand up from your chair and vice versa (Hope this works for me in return).

Ohh yeah almost forget to mention this: those who want to improve their written English, this is the right place to start with though you might end up trying to search for the personal tutor later to correct your grammatical errors or anything. But it is no big deal, trying your best is what makes it matters the most.

Okay okay you might be starting to think that "Why am I suddenly in Herald's lecture class?" I was not trying to like lecture you guys, it is just that I still cannot figure out what this is all about as in this whole writings or talkings or whatever it may be. It just came up from my itchy hands right now since I have like almost always abandoned this whole thing for at least a month everytime I posted a new writing on my blog. How usual it is huh? I know I know..... I love to sit on and set things aside... Phewww.... I do not know what happened to my new year resoution... (clear throat)

Anyway I gotta sleep, I seriously need to catch up on my sleep since this whole incoming week will be like a non-stop hit to me at school. And I need my Chinese New Year getaway to Chiang Mai for one week. Wish me "Have a safe trip." "Thanx guys and peace out."

A Memorial Service Speech to my Entertainment!!!

2007-12-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

Sigh.... that was the day, the most shocking moment in my entire one year's stay here in KL, that my one and only entertainment of all time just left this world for good (peace be with you)!!!

Now that he has gone, I have to hold a memorial service for him for being a good friend of mine as well as my most precious PA without failure ever since he came into my pocession this time around (Xmas) last year.

I always loved to call him Dell Hardy (HardDisk made from Dell) since he was a former American citizen before he had a big fight with my sister and as a punishment he was sent over to the new master which was me all the way from America after a one full month of shipride.

Since he had learnt his lessons, he was being good to me in fact he was a pretty cautious buddy to me who would entertain me with all the games and music of all sorts and not to forget, he made me stay connected (that was the most important part of all). Then once again, he made me do my assignments last minutes or even far too late at nights!!!

Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that good things always come together with bad stuff, he started having this bad flu three nights ago. I just thought it was a normal viral infection so I just simply prescribed (as I'm Dr Quack) him with antivirus-biotics which made him worse, he became very slow and occasionally he could not do his job well and in the middle of somewhere doing something, he would freeze and rest... he even had frequent comas so that I even had to shut him down to start from scratch... He tried really really hard as well to obey me until he coughed out making the screeching sounds and that time you can imagine my heart was not at all at ease and I did not even know a single thing on what I should do with him.

So as an encouragement, I just gave him a pat (may be too harsh for him though) and only then he coughed out his one last pain with a sharp screech. There and then he remained silent and by the look of him, I already knew that I would not be able to wake him up again. At least, he managed to take away all my past year assignments, my activities photos, music, videos (you name it) every bits of things that I kept with him. So even after his settlements with his own things and life in paradise, he would remember me, the good old pal, I guess since he has taken all the memories away...

Now that I have to train all over to the new born Dell Hardy Jr. (shall I call that way???), I might as well adopt another external Dell N. Hardy (N. stands for new) as well??? I'll leave it up to you all to think for me... and don't forget to get back to me... thanks!!!

My Com Com In View

Penang: Inspired by buddy Soya

2007-12-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

Wow! I really cannot believe in myself that I can ever abandon my blog for so long and it has been remaining half dead ever since after i wrote yummylicious or a quick-peek reflect back on my good old times. Sorry for that buddy Soya.... (my one and only reader I guess... for now)....

well yeah, even way before I arrived here which was past two years... my "English conversation class" teacher, "sir", asked me to go visit Penang and my first thought about Penang was totally "plain blank" and I instantly replied him: "sir, is that in Thailand???"

Anyway it has got a beach so it does not matter whether it is in Thailand or Malaysia, right?? We just got to have fun!!!

Well that was my first perception regarding Penang!!! I know you would say "That's so Herald."... what to do man, seriously....

Okay, cut crap.... and here it comes Penang!!!!

It’s just simply the best of the best place with all the beach, mountain, modern life yet still remain the traces of rich Chinese culture…

This picture was taken on the way to Penang... It was just simply spectacular!!!

I still remember the first early morning that we all gathered in Sunway foyer and all looked starving and half asleep until the bus arrived at last after one hours’ wait. It was worth waiting for though, our bus was like an Aerobus…

We were not just tired of playing silly games like all groups on trip would have done it along the way until no energy was left before our second stop for lunch which we already sensed an aura of Penang the minute we saw “Laksa – One bowl 2.20”…. I was like “YES” and not to forget, the Cendol was nice as well.

By the time we passed through the Penang Bridge, it was raining and we all were disappointed: “There goes our first day in Penang, sigh…… “. The rain eventually subsided and after we were settled with our rooms in Sri Sayang, it was brightly shining, just good enough to go to the beach and enjoy the rides…..

We were waiting for our Banana Boat Guy to come, but to our disappointment it came but an hour later... Too bad, tatar Mr. Banana Boat Guy!!! Then off we went without playing that.

These are a bunch of my "Cam Whore" gang in Kek Lok Si Temple, which overlooks the whole George Town if I am not mistaken.

Walking up and down the Ferringhi night market was great. Not only could we get cheap DVDs, one for Rm 4.00 returnable if anything is wrong, and this is what we should call them Ferringhi Louis Vuitton bags, wallets and you name it, they have it….. the best part was this:

Hahahaha yeah man come to think of it condom = protection… well it makes sense, it comes from smart Penang Hokkien-speaking business people with good command of English...

For the last day Penang, I’ll just copy and paste the Penang article that me and soya wrote featured in our 5th Floor Newsletter!! So yeah enjoy….

This was the quality morning for all of us somehow as some spent their nice time snuggling in beds the whole morning while some went a stretch to the beach for one last time before we left for Batu Ferringhi Beach for their favorite parasailing or photo taking sessions among the rocks. Off we went to Butterworth around 10.00 am in the morning and we had so much fun testing out our DVDs we bought the previous night until we got to Ms. Dhina’s house since we had the pre-invitation from her for the Raya open house in the Kampung (village) which turned out to be the total experience for all of us. Her house was situated in ten-minute walking distance from the highway and though we were asked to hop in to the neighbor’s van that Ms. Dhina requested especially for us, we still insisted on walking till we reached the house. It was a two-storied house by the paddy field and for those who decided to sleep until late the following morning, it was heaven for them for the food were exceptionally delicious and all of us really got to know the warm and hospitable neighbors and family who helped out in all the mise-en-place just to cater the thirty of us. We were not just tired enough of savoring the Kampong dishes and not to mention a short visit over the paddy field soon after lunch just to fulfill our habitual daily routine which we practiced back in Penang that was taking pictures no matter where we were and what situation we were in. Same goes to the long way back to our bus from the Kampung, we just had as much fun as when we first walked in to the village. From there we reached Ipoh in the evening then despite the occasional short breaks and traffic jam, we reached back home which was KL around 8.30 pm and of course we all felt time flew really fast compared to the bond and nostalgic memories we got from the trip and we wished it could have been any longer if there were the next time like this. All of us promised the next trip to be organized and we just simply cannot wait for it.

Yummy-licious yet Authentic....... (Getting Back to my own roots)

2007-11-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

Far away amidst of luscious high ground greenery and a glassy "Innlay" lake in a small town back in Burma, a rich culture wrapped in varieties of traditional delicacies await visitors of all walks of lives.

This small pavilion resides in the middle of "Fish Pond", as we all love to call it, surrounded by stretches of green paddy fields in the horizon has more things to offer than what we may have expected for before the actual first visit. Then what are those some of the extra special things that it can ever offer us??

An exceptionally tasty grilled local stream fish with the vegetable stuffing inside is just one of the wonders we can experience. The picture on the left shows it all!!!

(All the buddies looked tired on that day, but it was the last time we actually went there in one whole group before I left for here, so we had great fun eating and being together.)

Not to forget the mouth-watering sour and spicy raw fish salad tossed with fragrant Ku Cai (Chives) to our own traditional Shan delight. It was the best choice for us to ever order Fish Head Tom Yam soup so as to go well with those fried, broiled, grilled (you name it) fish dishes.

Despite the fact that we were all like having to squat down around the table together for a bite to eat those hearty fish dishes, we were at our full convenience since we got to savor great dishes with loved ones while some more enjoying the smell of fresh breeze just passed from the green fields across and if ever anyone of you manage to visit "my Home", I promise you a lunch out in our cozy little "Fish Pond" pavilion in the center of serene nature.

(One of our most favorite hang-outs, the "Fish Pond" pavilion.....)

Tagged by Soya!!!

2007-11-09T07:43:00.000-08:00

Part 1:
On the Outside

Name : Tin Soe Hlaing/ Ting Yau/ Herald
Date of Birth : 18th December 1984!
Current Status : Single
Eye Colour : dark brown
Hair Colour : A slight tint of browness
Righty or Lefty : Righty...
Zodiac Sign : Sagittaraus

Part 2:
On the Inside

Your Heritage : Shan Chinese
Your Fear : Uncertainties in Life
Your Weakness :
Your Perfect Pizza : I'm one kind, I'm not a pizza person

Part 3:
Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Your thoughts first waking up : I'll snooze back for another 15 minutes... lolz
Your bedtime : My bioclock has totally gone haywired
Your most missed memory : Laughter from you guyz...

Part 4:

Your PickPepsi or Coke : Coke
McDees or Burger King : I'd rather choose KFC !!!
Single or Group Dates : Both...
Adidas or Nike : All Star Converse
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Lipton Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla : Vanilla
Cappucino or Coffee : Cappucino

Part 5:
Do You

Smoke : Once in my life back 4 years i guess just to test things out...
Curse : Not that I know of

Part 6:
In the Past Month

Drank alcohol : nope... mission failed
Gone to the mall : ermmmm if i take Pyramid as a mall then yes, just came back from it...
Been on stage : Duh...
Eaten sushi : Yep, it was my dinner tonight
Dyed your hair : That will be next month's story

Part 7:
Have You Ever?

Played a stripping game : Nope and no plan in the future either
Changed who you were to fit in : Nope...

Part 8:

Age you're hoping to be married : 30 yearz old or above

Part 9:
In A Girl

Best Eye colour : Brown or Blue or Green : Brown
Hair colour : Matching color to her skin tone
Short or long hair : Moderately long

Part 10:
What Were You Doing?

1 minute ago : Fighting with soya whether or not to fill this bloody thing out
1 month ago : ooopsss that would be wednesday on the 10th Sept.... hmmm damn stressed with Front Office on that day
1year ago : that particular day, we got F&B last practical with Ms Merry some more with our new uniform... and on that same day Shaun was having food poison. I just got StreamyX connection in Mentari and I was pretty excited about Jair's Dell arrival to me as well.... wow man, I really remembered.... :P

Part 11: Finish The Sentence

I love : My parents, family, sister, brother, best friend, closest friends and myself
I feel : Young at heart
I hate : myself sometimes for acting on impulse... but i do not really mind so long my family and my best buddy can understand....
I miss : :Laughter from you guyz..... (Home)
I need : money, to be healthily fat, to study, to have a clearer vision of my future

Part 12: Tag 5 People.
1) Sophia
2) the rest 4 for whoever who happens to read this and like this then just get tagged...

My first English Conversation Class... in Air Con City @ Cherry Land

2007-07-29T01:48:00.000-07:00

During my pre-uinversity time, I got an opportunity to build up my proficiency in English back home which is my beloved cherry land or air con city. So this is all about the class that I joined. The teacher himself (we call him "sir") was brought up in England but he came back to Burma, gratuated there as during those days back, the word "Burma" was quite a name to worth describing properly in the map of the world. And what I have to stress upon is that he is a unique person with different fusion values. He managed to teach us the good western values well mixed with the good ones of our own. His students got to know the different customs and the outcome was that instead of viewing the world stereotypically from an already framed mind, we could view the world as it actually was.

However, please do not think that the class that I was just mentioning above was a grand and glamorous one. It was just a mere car garage without a car inside but instead it was filled with an old dining table with benches side by side and an old table clock on top and beside the table was an old box full of books. No boards, no library and no nothing. But at least an old map of the world was hung on the wall so it did not look so plain though. Despite the incredible conditions of our tiny little (supposed-to-be a garage) classroom, what we got from there was awesome and invaluable. I hope I can share this with those who have been in that small classroom of big hopes and dreams....

A message for my family

2006-10-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

dear ah nai, pa, ma and family...

this is my very first time using internet from school. i kind of submitted it last thursday but as there were three days of orientation and a weekend, i only get to use it now.....

today is my very first day at school i mean after those long orientation days and yes i'm kind of getting familiar with my own school just now because it's practically a combination of two universities in the same building which is why it gets so large and even now i'm lost at some parts of the school..... the part of area that i'm now living and studying is selangor state ( i wonder if i spell it right ) but doe ye might know that place.... it's 30 minutes drive from kuala lumpur itself and my hostel is about 30 minutes walk from school. but don't worry we have free shuttle buses to and fro 8 times a day...... so it's very convenient..... and the cafeteria on the ground floor is a combination of 5 j donuts and 2 cafe aromas back in yangon..... and the food here is so great that i sometimes am hesitate which one to eat. 5 ringits and i'm full. only now that i understand what an actual university student's life is all about.

well the first evening i set foot on the airport ground, i was a little excited because i had to wait for someone from school to get me before i passed the immigration counter but luckily after 30 minutes wait, someone named mr. hashim picked me up and everything was okay with me...... the girl that went along with me got luckier that day, even before we got to the shuttle train, she got someone from kuching already there waiting for her...... so that was her story..... for me i got to sunway at about 7.30 pm and to my surprise my very first evening abroad kind of got dark only at about 8.00 pm. aunty jenny took me to her house and introduced me with her family and they all were very warm to me... and we kind of ate out that night... she and her son ko chris and her daughter-in-law ma ei took me to a big food court where most of the students spend their night eating dinner. it was awesome.... everything, the people, the food.... it was AsiaCafe

for the next few days before i went to my hostel, aunty jenny just took me to every place and mall worth going. last monday was my very first night in the hostel and some funny things happened.... cos i was mistakenly assigned to the level where there were no boys living but girls for that entire floor and a vietnamese girl got allocated into my actual room. so as they couldn't swamp us back for that day, i had to go to another room on the 5th floor and slept for one night. there i met with one friend from indonesia and we still hang around each other.....and now, about my actual room, i'm currently staying with 2 malaysian chinese, 1 korean and 1 sri lankan... all together 5 of us....... and yes as mentioned there are three rooms and of course a kitchen and 2 bathrooms with toilets attached.... it's just that they don't provide any cooking facilities like ovens, pots, pans and gas stove...... but we have all the cupboards and a fridge. and our living room is a nice one.... some sofas and a good table and chairs to dine... my room is on the 16th level of the apartment and there are altogether 4 blocks which means block a, b, c and d and all four are 17-storied buildings and a swimming pool, a basketball court and a small playground for kids are wrapped around by those buildings........ all of my roommates are okay... they are cool and the sri lankan named 'nalinda' is taking tourism, that 16-year-old korean 'sang jun' computer science, two malaysians 'alan' and 'lac', multimedia and networking.and okay, i'm going to talk about the nearest mall from both of our hostel and school. ( actually it is kind of in the middle of the two places ), sunway pyramid.... the shopping mall is a very big one with lots of shops and restaurants and what is more there is even an ice-skating ground for people to skate at the basement and a mega theater with small cinemas ( i believe there are at least 8 of them ) inside. and beside the pyramid is the lagoon theme park and it's one of the biggest themeparks in malaysia and it even contains a fake beach inside with all that white sands and even fake waves.... those waves are so big that people even surf around..... it's so incredible.... i can just see that park from our school window..... it's that near.

for now, i'm just eating out....... cos i don't want to buy the utensils for cooking.... and besides outside food stores are also very hygienic and reasonable..... even if you don't want to drink some juice, you get so full with 3.5 ringits worth dinner or lunch.

last friday, i went to a big mosque opposite the sunway pyramid and here the juma only starts at about 2.00. i don't know why..... but anyway, it's very convenient for me to just walk there and it's just 15 minutes walk from my hostel.

okay, you all might be getting bored by my long mail. so i think i'll stop here. but at least you can feel a little bit about the insight of where i'm living. okay, it's nearly 3.30, i have to go back to my hostel with the 3.45 shuttle bus. so i'll write to you again soon.

bye for now.

tons of love,
tee

ps. pa the current exchange rate is a us dollar for 3.63 ringits.....