August 8 was about my nostalgic past memories and what I was not aware that time was that I never thought this December 10 early in the morning around 2.00 am would be my last night physically living in everything that I have come to the city of Twins for and that everything and everyone that I believed in...
I still could remember the first day's touch down and a mixture of excitement and nervousness over what was going to come to me next in August 11, 2006 to the strange city with no one else near me or around ... and one more thing was... there were endless first times over the past two years... for instance I could even remember clearly about my first day orientation, my first blue shirt that I bought or my first English test... it would be too much for you if I said I even got noticed of the first bee flying across the tree at our school's sidegate or even the full moon shining above the sky so much so that I had to deliberately go down from my condo hostel room to the downstairs walkway leading to the swimming pool so that I could see the clearer picture of the bright lantern in the night sky... But those were what I really got noticed as one of the many first time encounterments in my new place...
Along came with my first best friend, first argument, disappointment, fight, misunderstanding and yet again an understanding in the end... I realized I was living a life. Even now I do not regret for all the happenings... Before I even could allow myself to sink into the fact that my second best friend came into picture as part of my life together with alot of second times, third times and seemingly endless repetition of things done, food taken, feelings shared and places gone... now I really had no idea of what the last thing that I should do will be before I leave the place... even when the clock struck 12.00 just 2 hours ago, it still has not yet sunk in my mind that it is the end of everything of what I have come here for... but suddenly and only at this very moment that I am breathlessly in pain to leave yet again my life here...
The hardest thing now is for me to say goodbye and turn my back on those of whom I cherish with my life... I have said enough goodbyes in my life and yet I am still reluctant to do so all over again... I will always be smiling when I am left behind or leave.... either way I will be smiling for the betterment of both parties involved... what I will be keeping in my heart would be "crying out loud" for the uncertainties of reunions in the future.
Life goes on and I can never forget my old and new people alike ornating my life... so this love towards family and friends stays on... and I always force myself to believe in the saying "parting is sweet sorrow" as it has its fair share of power over lessening the pain of being parted from one another which I find it to be the most difficult obstacle that one can ever achieve in life. So after all this fast moving shock of reality in the dark of the night, I just say to myself for the last thing that I ever am going to do until the last bit of minutes and seconds that I am here....................... "I will live it to its fullest." 10/12/08 (2.52am)
