Mother Courage

Endless sparkles of heartfelt thoughts and concern....

Waves of lucrative, utmost wisdom....

Eternally practical and sensible

A glimmer of warmth and joyous hope in her eyes for us

(all of us)

Of which can be seen solely through her silenced voice.

Her lullabies teach nothing less significant than comfort

of not only being near but being left alone...

Those could be heard even when you are on your own.

She may have left you just because she cherishes you...

But hey, have you noticed?

You always seem to find your way back after you thought you lose track!

That's simply her.

Had there been any existence of a parallel universe ...

She might have been the first!

What else could we possibly ask from her?

May a score of silence be heard once and for all.

Distortion

I am somewhat in this beginning phase of an end. Is this the kind of phase they call as "climatic phase" in cinematology? No one is supposed to know if it is a good or bad ending. Everything just pours down on everyone like December rain, so unexpected and uncalled for. I could have elaborated my explanations better had I known more than a hundred vocabulary.

One more thing, I have been treating this blog like a huge black hole in the universe where I can throw everything at and never have to see them again. This is my safe haven. My weak spot.

Life as a child, there are countless stories that anyone could tell and pass on to one another. Trust me they were all funny and childlike. Maybe things were hilarious in such ways when you did not have to care about what others think of you. To me, I still feel like I am that child. Let me be myself as I have always been.

I just wonder what it is like on the other side. I am sure there will be sequence of unopened doors abandoned or unexplored. Dried leaves scattered everywhere with black cloud of ravens up in the crimson sky. That could be paradise.

I am hungry. I am thirsty. I need the basic needs. I want what I want. Will I ever break this chain of spell? Only with the courage I am given.

Meet-Cute

Nothing could interest more to him than a grand display of the unplayed piano in front of the class when the teacher looked almost like Albert Einstein reciting Shakespeare's love poems. He could not concentrate on the lessons being taught and all he could hear was this absurdity close to "God bless America" being sung in Arabic.

He glanced around the entire class just to bounce out of this current classic boredom. There and then, from the corner of his eyes, he saw someone. Everything else disappeared out of his vision.

That might have almost been when his meet-cute shyly started quietly, and secretly.

He was early that day to class and found himself alone without anyone around but that piano. His childhood mischievous behavior overshadowed his reluctance to get up to the stage towards the center. He was just than a mere lost little boy in this brand new town but that instant, he almost felt like he was about to bow down before hundreds of audiences before he commenced his play.

It was clearly not Debussy's Claire De Lune. The boy's Starlit Waltz shakily echoed up the entire theater. He got carried away and could not care less if the principle came in and got him expelled from class for manipulating class property without any permission. But guess who made an entrance into the hall?

Absolutely!

It was her, peeking through the half opened door not knowing what to expect and what was going on. All she saw was a nervous-looking boy up on the stage with no one else around but the piano. She blushed away and quickly turned back to the hallway thinking that it was the wrong class. But wait, it was not. It might have been the same boy whom she had been seeing from the corner of her eyes. Except from that this time, her eyes met those of his for a second, for the first time.

Assumption: The girl may have went to the library instead just to kill time and embarrassment at first but somehow got carried away with her much interested photography books, she realized a little too late on how late she was for class. When she peeked through the class for the second time, it was filled with students and the teacher. The only seat left available for her without having to catwalk pass the entire class would be that of ... that, for the last couple of days, she had been peeking through from the corner of her eyes so much. "Hmm, I wonder whom she might be sitting next to!"

A Letter For sir~

Dear sir,

I'm feeling terribly wrong that I'm writing to you only now after a long period of silence. Having said that, I've never felt too far away from you ever and my friends back home at all since I do occasionally receive news about your well-being from my family and friends who have visited you.

I was literally on my life roller coaster ever since I decided to take chance and leave for the States in December, 2008. Last year was a bumpy ride for me. But along the way things have gotten better until I could not ask for more and right now I'm working in this small boutique hotel situated right in downtown Los Angeles (40 minutes drive from my sister) as a Front Desk Agent and this will, I'm sure, continue for at least a year until I am granted as a permanent resident. With the status I'd be able to get into one of the universities with the local fees and some financial aids.

Ever since I got here in the States, I've met with some of your ex-students. They all are doing fine and you are always in our conversation everytime we hang out.

Sometimes sir, I do wish to be back all over again in your classroom. I am pretty sure I will not stop talking not that I had been the quiet one all along back in class those days as well. =) But the idea of it just gives me a whole new perspective on how I shouldn't have attempted to avoid discussions or essay days =). You have somehow managed to give all of us a kind of distinctiveness in the crowd in terms of the language that you make us fall in love with. I'll always be grateful to you for that.

I will write to you very soon again and please do take care sir.

With regards.

Catching the Light

When I was a little boy, mom and dad made me go to all those wedding receptions dressing me up in my best little outfit possible. I always loved to see the brides and grooms being in the center of attention. People would always ask me when I will get married and I never failed to answer them back, in the most serious note "honestly and proudly", that I would be a single guy just like my dad. I did not understand why people laughed at my statement. I was one proud kid to be just like his own dad who he thought was single. Didn't we all think what we believed was true and weren't we all chasing our own lights?

I am not that naive little kid anymore after two decades had passed and yet it still makes me wonder why I am still catching my own light! May be I am still scared of the dark. It was the literal darkness during my childhood days that I was scared of but the context of light and darkness expands as years pass by. I never did, do not still and will never be able to understand what is right, and wrong where the light that I try to chase would be something others are trying to get away from.

I am never able to tell a star's history yet I still chase the twinkling brightness from above which had traveled down its journey of millions of years just to shine on me this particular night regardless of its own existence to this day as I speak.

What's-for-dinner??

Today I just made a record to myself watching Julie / Julia, an astounding movie of how cooking greatly influences lives, for the sixth time in a row ever since I downloaded in less than barely a week.

Have you ever experienced something extraordinary like chills and shivers down your back by watching a movie? The feeling is never new to me since I've had it with No reservations or even with Ratatouille in the past.

Julie / Julia just did that to me this time. The most bitter sweet part was I get so emotional which is very unlikely over a movie. But how can I resist when it is so touching and it just flashed back the whole chunk of sweetest memories I've ever had cooking at school and home with friends and family just like a set of colorful, enchanting motion picture flickering on the back of my brain in sequence.

Never in a million years could I ever imagine all these eatings and cookings can bring people together like I encountered back home in Burma as well as in Malaysia.

And how humble we could get before a satisfying hearty meal simply made out of love from your grandmas trying to bring the best from their tiny little smoke scented and charcoal stained kitchens... what else on earth can possibly beat that?

For instance like this wonderful cake and pizza bun that I made for my pastry exam back in school. The pressure was on as it was an exam yet I came to realize it turned out great with just a pinch of passion well mixed with two cups of enthusiasm...

And this is what I would say about when people are doing something they cherish, it just shows.

Even this Kimbap making time back home with little experience of whatsoever on how to get it done at first had brought me back the joyful memories of just having to be together and who cares if the food we made tasted weird. =)

This really reminds me of how real culinary admiration people possess on whoever cooks good and my favorite line from Ratatouille would be "great cooks can come from anywhere" even if anyone can not cook well...

And wait chefs can be goofballs too... You can imagine we still had time to play around with our phone cameras while waiting for our bread to be baked to crust, creams to be whipped until it looks like a soft moist cloud freshly picked from the sky or souffles to be risen and not to be collapsed again...

Afterall, all we bring to the table towards the end of the day are not just great food to be savored. There are still winning smiles on each and every face.

When all is said and done, food still can never be too good, in a sense, not to be shared even electronically over the Internet.

To all my friends and family out there whom I had fun cooking, baking, broiling, sauteeing, and most importantly eating together with... may we have some fun cooking times together again in the near future...

For now though...... what's for dinner?

Winter 2008 Vs. Winter 2009

Winter kicks in prominently these past few days. I am dying to capture these chilled moments just like last year when I was up in Lake Tahoe where I had my first white lovely Xmas. The thing is, Los Angeles is brighter than ever and we are having these beautiful sunny days almost everyday which would not give a single trace of coldness even if I try to deliver some pictures taken in one of these shivering mornings. But that is not even my point right now. I just can't find a nice good spot to portray my winter wonderland 2009 which could outshine the fabulous past year. Right there, a professional photographer would laugh at me saying "Dude, you don't need a nice spot to get good shots in fact they are everywhere!" Well I am trying.

Along came with this shivering winter early mornings was the warmth and the satisfying moments when you manage to capture something where there is someone out there who would actually care about you. The city notorious for high-end glamazons and excessively ripped gentlemen in their best outfits from Giogio Armani to the designer boutiques custom-made clothings, still has something genuine to offer. Don't get me wrong about those in their luxurious living style, all I'm saying is to be real once and for all then they will be good and charming human beings.

My bottomline here is I finally found friends whom I can hang out, crack jokes, cook dinners or just chill with and may be to be mean to each other with depending on our moods really. Even the little ones with wagging tails are counted in my list. What could be more rewarding for me to receive such heavenly gifts and more importantly this could be my best winter portrayal especially when I am so far from you, all my loved ones. Happy Thanks Giving!