Waving L.A a Belated Goodbye

Welcome to my December! Of all those 26 year ends I have had, what a phenomenal December it was for the previous one... As much as I loved it, I have to say it gave me the hectic webs of endless to-do-list aside from the so-called Christmas shopping stress to say the least. By now I am convinced I have learnt my own pattern of anxiety. Relocation is the cause of it. And it works every time.

No matter how many times I say to myself I am tired of Los Angeles... Part of me is missing it. As this favorite saying of mine goes: parting on the other hand is always sweet sorrow. Emotions initiate from the artistic heart of mine if I may. And I end up missing it anyway. But I have to admit I miss the idea of what L.A could have been with its hidden historical architecture plus I miss that alligator sausage with chilled German beer I savored once at the corner of the industrial nightmare of the city.

I was just counting the total relocations I have made in my life and this is the sixth. With each and every move and new excitement, I discover more and more of myself and at the same time a part of me has simply shed away! I still could recall every single detail about my move and the backdrops engraved at the back of my brain ranging from the airports, tears and forceful smiles to pine trees and snow slush or humid heat. Yet! The people I miss are somewhat stagnated. Each and every time I think of one of them, it is as if I am reliving in this huge flashbulb memory so vivid and precise.

The idea of those sceneries and people do not change yet, I do change somehow. You might think that I have become cold. But let me assure you I may be cold but not for the reason you think I am. But just that separation was my elementary pain enhancer throughout my body even before I could recall myself as a tiny toddler. So I may become cold just because I do not want to lose you and feel the pain of loss... I love you!