It is 2:54 am and I still can't sleep. I spend too much time in wasting it away. In fact it was a close-call I almost did tonight but in the end I didn't. I am grateful to myself for this and I really am. After 314 months, I am finally getting dismantled into billions and billions of tiny molecules and reassembled back into me. It definitely is not awful as it sounds because I am in this subtle position where I have no single drop of energy left to propel this sweetness of life and I am telling you the truth, it is not at all painful having been crushed into pieces... to be better.
The moment has finally arrived and even way before it has, I already received an affirmation in me just like the good herald's lullaby transporting me into this dreamy reverie. So serene and calm. At that very moment, it is like nothing could really stop me from facing life head-on. Smiles blooming everywhere- laughters churning in with warm breeze. Everyday is the first day of spring, snow fall, summer and autumn. Once again at that very moment, successes and failures do not matter in one's accepting heart. Condescension withers and falls from this barren emptiness.
The clock is ticking away still as I move on- as the world moves on. I have come back to my senses. The first thing I see is "hope". Please give me another chance and let me try to love us even more.
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