Sleepless Heart

As I walk down this street over and over again after so many of the third times, I feel youthful again.

An urban toppings sprinkled on this rich, creamy and aspiringly old-school American town excites me just enough with its sensational architecture and its modern twists in the surroundings wherever I set my feet upon-- whenever I take a split-second glance at the personas and characters of beings strolling down that same street over and over again after so many of the third times.

It really reminds me of great things in the past and the great past at this instant being overlooked and judged from the future tomorrow.

It simply makes me youthful again; and it really does.

I take a deep city breath in this coldest 70-degree humid sauna-like evening breeze coming from the not-too-far Atlantic; I appreciate god for what he has done or in some cases for what he hasn't.

I just want to be like everyone and no one else at the same time of which, I most certainly agree, comes from my avant-garde (if I may) state of mind.

I want to be just like him in my casual plaid shirt and my favorite carrot jeans with a tinge of 5 almost 6 o'clock shadow and a pair of matching shoes I once bought leaning against the wall of that music school thinking of those understated and unborn talents.

I want to be just like her in her unfinished trails of mascara lines revealing the inner peace and beauty of not knowing what is going to happen while gracefully extending her slender neck before this all-mighty life chopping board.

I want to be just like it-- so minutely miniscule yet so fundamental to our everyday personas and characters of beings rushing up and down that same old street over and over again after so many of the third times.

And it feels so much larger than life, so out of this world, and yet so... insignificant?

I am at loss of words if only I knew hundred more words. I am so sucked into this serene enchantment, so tied down and so much so that I am somewhat afraid I might break loose and be able to roam out of here freely.

............ inspire me as I inspire my savage "civilized" heart.

............ pull me out of this kaleidoscopically symmetrical mess.

Sleepless nights, great cities, empty hearts...